About PAIRS

From graduate classroom to global movement: the education of love.

PAIRS began not with a theory but with a question. In the 1960s, Lori Heyman Gordon, a Marriage and Family Therapist, found that with all her education and experience she still didn't understand what caused intimate relationships to unravel. Her decades-long search for answers would eventually touch the lives of hundreds of thousands around the world.

Our story Research

A grandfather and grandchild cooking together

Our story

Love is not just something we feel. It is something we must learn.

1975
Gordon introduces the first PAIRS curriculum as a graduate-level course at American University in Washington, D.C., for future counselors and mental health professionals, integrating experiential learning with innovative tools for emotional communication, conflict resolution and intimacy.
1983
The nonprofit PAIRS Foundation is established to bring the program beyond academic halls into communities, families and organizations.
1980s–1990s
Thousands of therapists, educators, clergy and coaches are trained, expanding PAIRS across the U.S., Canada, Europe and Israel. The signature 120-hour Mastery Program is joined by shorter formats like PAIRS Essentials and Passion Weekend.
2009
Seth Eisenberg, Gordon's son, becomes President and CEO, bringing a modern voice to the legacy and a focus on military families, veterans and underserved communities.
2015
Operation Sacred Trust launches; PAIRS becomes a leading provider of relationship education and resiliency programs for those impacted by trauma, deployment, addiction and homelessness.
Today
PAIRS is both a legacy and a living movement: digital tools like Yodi, books including Let It Out, Love That Grows With You and The Road of Happiness Now, IronBond Fathers, and new experiential approaches grounded in lived experience.

Influences that shaped PAIRS

Virginia Satir

Often called the mother of family therapy; her approaches to communication, self-worth and emotional expression permeate PAIRS methodology.

Daniel Casriel, MD

His research on bonding as a biological need and emotional re-education deeply informed the PAIRS approach to healing and growth.

George Bach

Introduced powerful rituals for managing conflict, particularly the love-hate paradox within intimate relationships.

Our mission

To teach those attitudes, emotional understandings and behaviors that nurture and sustain healthy relationships, and to make this knowledge broadly available on behalf of a safer, saner, more loving world.

Leadership

More than a century of combined experience advancing the mission.

PAIRS is headquartered in Florida and operates through a global network of licensed and trained facilitators.

Seth Eisenberg

President and CEO since 2009. PAIRS Master Trainer, creator of Warrior to Soul Mate, and author of Love That Grows With You, Let It Out and The Road of Happiness Now.

Rachel Marmor, LMHC

PAIRS Master Trainer and licensed mental health counselor, leading PAIRS Essentials cohorts and training for community partners.

Lori Heyman Gordon

Founder. Marriage and Family Therapist who created PAIRS and, through 2004, led efforts to refine, validate and expand its programs before transferring her interests to the Gordon Charitable Trust.

Research

Researched and refined over nearly half a century.

Since the first PAIRS course in the 1970s, volumes of research have validated PAIRS' skills-based approach to communication, conflict resolution and emotional awareness. Decades of evidence supported the decision by one of the world's largest healthcare providers to license PAIRS as a foundation for nationwide whole-health efforts.

Understanding emotions in ourselves and others empowers collaboration and teamwork.

Bonding, the unique combination of emotional and physical connection, is a lifelong, biologically based need.

A new day begins full of the potential created by thriving relationships at home, work, school and community.

Meeting each other's needs for the combination of emotional and physical closeness is the work of a relationship.

Growing up with two loving parents helps children pursue the potential of their lives.

Healthy self-worth and self-esteem promote tolerance and school safety.

Vulnerability and empathy are pillars of our closest, most meaningful relationships.

The umbrella of goodwill protects relationships during periods of growth and change.

Confiding in a loved one can measurably reduce the impact and symptoms of trauma, anxiety and distress.

Research library and facilitator tools at PAIRS.tools

Books by Seth Eisenberg

Powerful, practical skills you can hold in your hands.

Evidence-based guides that combine proven PAIRS tools with real-life insight, for readers navigating relationship challenges or seeking personal healing.

Love That Grows With You

A heartfelt, hands-on guide for building lasting love one honest moment at a time: a compassionate roadmap to emotional connection, clear communication and meaningful intimacy at every stage of a relationship.

Buy on Amazon

Let It Out

A powerful guide to reclaiming your voice, releasing suppressed emotions and rediscovering connection. Rooted in decades of trauma-informed work and the science of bonding, for anyone facing grief, anxiety or emotional shutdown.

Buy on Amazon

The Road of Happiness Now

Reflections and practices for the inner work that makes close relationships possible, drawn from decades of teaching PAIRS.

Buy on Amazon